As promised P1?

Hey y'all..... i guess i promised that i'd tell u all the full rather dull details of my fucked up existence.... so with much repression, i introduce
THE FUCKED STORY (part 1?)
well yeah... it all started about 6 years when mum and dad still lived together under this roof and i was still a little bright smiling little child(god forbid).
well mum and dad used to scream and yell at eachother CONSTANTLY over everything... and it was usually after i'd "gone to bed" so they never figured i was listening...
i still remember countless times where i'd hear them screaming at eachother, and, as ashamed i am to admit it, i would sit and cry because of it....alot....
well then there was my sister, who used to dig her nails into my arms and pull bits of skin out (fuckin HURT) and i could never go to mum and dad because they were always too busy bitching at eachother....
yeah thats when karinas picking on me... the (abuse) started... that never really stopped, it just changed to physical + mental abuse
and now its just mental abuse.....ohwell...
so first time i tried to kill myself was when i realised mum and dad were too busy fighting to give a shit about me or anything.... that was pretty gay.....
then it kept going... eventually i realised that my life had this habit of falling apart frequently, and i got SO fucking sick of it...... so after it had done that pretty badly, i kinda tried the 2nd time.....
that didnt work, knowing my own luck (gay) and so i kept living for a while....
life started seeming to be a tad less shit, although not by much, i admit, it was something.....
so i was okay around this time.... and then when everything started to look up, everything, as it does, fell fucking APART again... and after a few months of that i tried again..........

ok so this brings us to about where i am now.... pushed to the floor, getting the air kicked out of me.... with very limited numbers of reasons to live, and even less that actively TRY to keep me going (thankyou ela, i LOVE YOU)
so in summary....
thankyou to my parents.
thankyou to my sister
thanky0u to everyone who made it worse in their own small way, u know who u are.


i love you Ela.
Until next time...... i will leave you with some wise words.
P1"whats the only thing worse than wanting to kill yourself?"
P2"i dunno.. whats that?"
P1"not being allowed to."